"My first date with the Lord"
Since around the end of 2013, I've known about IMM. I have been listening to Dr. Kanayama's messages since then. I attended IMM convention at Utsunomiya-city on January 17th, 2015. I could not stop crying. I started naturally attending PSG(Prayer Small Group/Meditation prayer), about 3 months has passed since then. I am thankful I can testify what the Lord has done for me during this time.
My first date with the Lord was at PSG. After work I was exhausted and thought it was nice I could go back to my house feeling the Lord, holding my hand. My heart felt refreshed, but in general I had no doubt the second date would be denied! Because I talked too much. I would have liked to meditate on the Lord, but I could not very well, because I only saw my problems and troubles. I had been repenting for many days. I confessed my sins as much as I could remember and also remembered things I forgot when I was a little girl. I was shocked at myself. Even when I was sleeping, the Lord showed me my idols and sins in a dream. Really? Is it also the idols?! OMG!!!! I realized I tried to drag God to my ways. I made decisions and I controlled my walk. Even so, the Lord is faithful all the time and loves me with his everlasting love. I was filled with thanksgiving. I could not stop thinking I would like to walk in God's way from now on and to dedicate myself 100%. But I do not know what to do for that and did not hear the Holy Spirit's voice clearly.
I used to decide by myself, act quickly, mistake many times and do the same routine again and again. So I decided to wait still until the Holy Sprit would talk. When I entered into the room at PSG, I could not stop crying several times because I felt, and was filled with love, joy and peace. Sometimes suddenly fear came into my heart and I felt like I was being attacked like my leg was being dragged back and forth from heaven to hell. When I heard my voice to the Lord, "I understand the way I took before was wrong!!" I was amazed and at the same time I realized it was true!! So the Lord said to my heart, but I did not hear His voice. "I am glad you came up to here. I lead you, but you sought, so I could lead. Seek me more from now on as you did and find my way.
On my 25th birthday, I became a believer in Jesus Christ. I spent a wonderful honeymoon time and then a lots of time was wasted staying as a baby Christian. Since the honeymoon time, this experience has been a big spiritual revival. How wonderful God's blessing is ❤ I had not yet found God's way, but I was filled with the hope that I definitely can find it and have joy continuously.
When I had meditation prayer on Easter Sunday, I heard the Lord's voice clearly. "Follow me."
The next week, I put myself on the cross and was buried with Christ. Then I had a 3 hour-PSG for the first time. There was a boat on the calm sea. I got in the boat. While I was thinking I rowed the boat against the flow as much as possible, the waves became stronger and stronger.
When I almost tipped over, I was told to lay down in the boat. So, I did. I swayed with the boat.
When the boat was about to flip, I was told to be the boat. So, I became one body with the boat.
"This means you became one body with Me."
"Stay with Me."
"Yes, my Lord. I will."